9 March 2015

What Is It With All These Beards?

This might sound like the most random topic for a blog post ever but I felt like I just had to say something.

Why has everyone gone crazy about beards? Beards used to be for tramps and old men. The only person who used to be able to rock a beard was Dumbledore but now it seems like everyone's bloody got one. Maybe it's because I work in the creative industry but I feel like it's hard to go a day without seeing 10 guys with beards. Not short beards like Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp sometimes have - I mean more than a few week's stubble. I mean proper full-on beards. And since when does having a beard make you a hipster? And what's even worse, do girls actually find these beards attractive?

I know I'm probably being a bit harsh but personally I just don't like them. When I see what could be a decent-looking guy with a really long beard it just makes me think of The Twits by Roald Dahl.

For anyone who had a deprived childhood and didn't have this read to them it's about this really gross old couple who played mean tricks on one another. But Mr Twit had this really gross long beard and I remember a particular section where it described him getting food stuck in there:

Having spoken to a friend who has one of these beards this is actually a real problem! Apparently rice and milk are quite hard to get out. I mean can you imagine walking around with your dinner stuck to your face for hours? Maybe even days? I certainly can't. Although thank god a sweaty beard is apparently not all that common in winter.

I think men use beards to express their masculinity. If you can grow a proper beard, you're a proper man. Wikipedia (the font of all true knowledge) says that in Ancient Egypt the men of highest rank grew beards and in the Middle Ages holding someone else's beard was a serious offence that had to be righted in a duel. Nowadays there seems to be a lot more beard-loving between men with compliments and admiration flowing freely between men with beards and men without. 

It's only recently that they have really started to get on my nerves though. And I've been thinking, how much longer is this trends going to go on for? More inside knowledge from my experienced bearded-friend tells me that they actually take quite a bit of maintenance with trimming and even brushing! I know you can get beard oil and a whole load of other products for it. Perhaps it's like a male version of concealer? You could hide a whole host of skin issues in one of them.

But if you ask me, a beard just suggests you are lazy and/or unhygienic. I read an article posted on the BBC website a year ago which said that once we hit a 'beard peak' they will become less attractive because too many people will have them; they will no longer be a rarity. Hopefully the summer the trend will be driven out as people start to get too hot because I'm not sure I could cope with sweaty beards on the tube! 

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