1 March 2015

What Should I Do Now?

The reason why I haven't written in such a long time (3 months if you're counting) is I wasn't sure what to write about. You could call it 'writers block' but I'd have to be a writer for that to be true. It's probably more accurately defined as a lack of inspiration. At university it was easy to write about being a student and the trivial problems I had then, like how to concentrate long enough to do my work (How To Stay in the Library Longest..!) or what costume to make for that week's fancy dress theme (Love Dressing Up?). Not that I wouldn't give anything to relive those carefree three years - I feel like recently my life has got a whole lot more serious.

I have my first 'real' job. A 9-5, 5 days a week, fixed salary job. Okay, officially it's an internship but it's the closest I've had to an actual, adult job. (I've worked full-time before but not in the industry I ultimately want to pursue). I live in the capital, the biggest city in the country and the place I've dreamed of living for the last 7 or 8 years at least. I catch the tube to work at rush hour everyday and I've never seen the same person twice - not in the 4 months I've been here. I have contents insurance. I mean I actually pay my own insurance and have things worth insuring! Could I be any more mature? Well today I went one step further, I bought my first piece of furniture and put it together all by myself.

What you're probably thinking is, 'This all sounds really boring' and the truth is it is. My life's not crazy and wild like a student now, it's the slow and complex life of a young professional. But I'm doing the things I've always wanted to do and I should be really happy, right?

I feel like after leaving university I've stepped outside what I know and what I'm used to, and actually started living life for real. It's not a fairytale like I hoped it would be. Things don't just happen for you. You have to make your own luck, your own decisions and your own mistakes.

I haven't been writing because I didn't think I could write anything people would want to read about. But then I thought, I shouldn't be writing for other people. I should be writing for me. I've been doing this all along because I enjoy it and so it doesn't matter if not a single person reads it. I'm going to write about what I'm interested in and that's all there is to it.

That's what I'm going to do now on.

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