Why It's The Right Time To Facebook Cull

It used to be a real competition when you were younger to have the most friends, followers or connections on social media. When I was at school, you knew you'd made it once you reached the top row of more than five friends' Bebo page. Even now I still care about how many follower I have on Twitter and Instagram - not to the same obsessive point, thank God. And I'll admit, I used to be quite proud of having nearly a thousand friends on Facebook. 'Used' being the important word here - past tense.

Recently I've started to realise that having so many friends on Facebook isn't necessarily a good thing. Other than for work, I use Facebook to keep in touch with all my friends. Social media makes it really easy to stay in contact with people wherever they are - as long as they have a connection to the internet. I'm fortunate enough to have travelled a lot, without even taking a gap year, and Facebook is the best way too keep in touch with all the people I've met. I'd never go as far as to delete my Facebook account but recently it's been starting to lose it's appeal, and it's not just me (which is probably why they've started advertising on the TV in the UK). 

I think the problem for me is that I actually have too many friends on Facebook. This makes me sound really arrogant but if you think about it, it's probably true for you as well (unless you've only recently joined, recently culled or have always had really strict rules about who you accept). 

There is no way I could name all of the friends I have on Facebook, or even communicate with all of them. There are some people that I have on there who I haven't ever met, who I can't remember or haven't spoken to in over 5 years. I'm not saying I should delete all the people who fit in these categories, I'm just saying I have a lot of different connections on there who in real life I might not call 'friends'. 

So gradually, I've been 'culling' my Facebook friends. I've been doing it over the last year or so, and there's still more to go, but I think it's the right time to do it. It's like de-cluttering your wardrobe - I should know as I'm a ridiculous spender (literally just Rebecca Bloomwood from Confessions of A Shopaholic but without credit cards, yet) and I've just moved to a bijou room in Clerkenwell. We all have dresses, tops, jackets, shoes that we've only worn once, that don't fit, that are completely over worn, that we've changed our minds about or have never even worn. Holding on to all these items isn't going to help you choose what to wear, just in the same way keeping loads of 'friends' on Facebook isn't going to make you happier. 

I've trying to get down to a core group of about 400 people that I genuinely would like to keep in contact with and care about what happens in their life. It's now over a year since I graduated from university and I'd probably say that about 70% of the people I met from there I have't talked to in the last year. And there's probably about 40% I won't ever speak to again. It's also 4 years since left school, I no longer live in the same area and I only go back and visit every couple of months. So do I need to keep a virtual connection with people I don't even know any more? 

There's no easy way to decide who you may or may not want to contact in the future but there's nothing to say that in 5 years time you can't re-add someone you'd like to reconnect with. In fact, there's nothing to say you can't do it straight away other than social media etiquette. 

One tip I would like to share that I've been using is asking yourself a simple question: would you say hello to them if you saw them in the street? If you wouldn't do this then you're not likely to do it online either. 

Once you've had a good culling session you'll find that Facebook is just as good as it used to be. The algorithm on Facebook works so that pictures or statuses that are most popular among your friends come to the top of your News Feed. If you only have connections with the people you want then your feed will be filled with interesting updates from all your friends and you won't spend as much time browsing through it. That's the plan at least! 

So if you've been a bit bored with Facebook recently, maybe it's the right time for you as well!

Why Are We All So Addicted To Social Media?

The first thing I do in the morning is check my iPhone for messages, notifications and Snapchats. When I go on holiday my first question is, will there be WiFi? And the thought of a long journey without any phone battery is my idea of a nightmare. Some people probably think that's really sad but in reality most people my age are the same. I barely use my phone for calls or texts anymore. I've just started working in a phone shop and it's not minutes or texts customers ask about, it's data. It's all about the internet. It's about social media. 

There are so many different platforms, each with their own uses and attractions. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, YouTube, Snapchat, Whatsapp, LinkedIn and the list goes on and on. These are just some that I use on a regular basis. In fact I would probably check each of them daily and some more than 5 times a day. An addiction is "the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice" and I wouldn't say it's a stretch to describe my relationship with social media this way. I also wouldn't call my situation unique, in fact I'd probably call it common. The question is, why are we all so addicted to social media?

It's continuous.

It's a bit like those online games we all used to play when we were younger. I'm thinking of FarmVille but there are loads of different variations of the same sort of thing.  Even though you're not always playing, the game keeps going without you. You have to harvest your crops or you will lose the money you spent planting them. If we think even further back, it's a bit like Tamagotchis (although my parents never actually let me have one). You have to keep playing the game to keep your digital pet alive. Social media has a similar enchantment. People are continuously uploading new pictures, statuses, pins, videos etc.. Somehow, masterminds like Mark Zuckerberg have managed to create the feeling that you might miss something if you don't keep checking back. Although the pictures of your old university friends' crazy nights out are still going to be there 3 weeks later, who wants to be the last one to see them? 

Social media makes you feel connected.

It's called social for a reason. It's all about the connections you can make and keep. Social Media's common aim is to bring people together, to share ideas and create networks. Most people have times when they are alone, whether it's once a day, a week or a month.  Some people enjoy this peace and quiet, some don't. With social media, you don't have to be alone. You can spark up conversations with people all around the world. It's this opportunity to communicate with people you don't see regularly in a fun way that has surpassed email or snail mail. Most people like to have lots of friends and social media is an easy way to stay in contact with them all. But you have to keep going back to that site to stay connected. Let's say you meet someone new on a night out, you get introduced by a mutual friend, chat for a while and then go your separate ways. If you know their name, or even if you don't, you could probably find them online by search through your mutual friend's profile. If you send them a friend request on Facebook, you'll have to keep using Facebook to contact them unless you ask for their number or email, which could be a bit too soon, I mean you've only met them once? And that's how social media draws you in. 

Social media gives you freedom.

There are things that are normally socially unacceptable that become okay on social media. I'm not talking about being rude or mean. But stalking through someone's old photos on Facebook is completely fine. You can get away with reading through all of someone's tweets for the last month without anyone knowing what you're doing. There is so much information about people on social media nowadays and that's what makes it so popular. It gives you much more freedom than the real world and you can express yourself in any way you choose. You can be whoever you want to be and say whatever you want to say (as long as it's not offensive). Social media provides the freedom that people crave in life and that freedom is what makes it so likeable and addictive. 

Who can tell what the future has in store for social media or whether in 10 years time we will all have forgotten about Facebook. All I know is, it's pretty addictive right now.